When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man,
by Edward T. Welch
a review by Adam Pohlman
The fear of man is a lot larger reality in our lives that we believe. "If you want to know whether or not you fear God, note your reaction when good things are taken from you." (pg. 114) "Fear of man is such a part of our human fabric that we should check for a pulse if someone denies it.' (pg 17) Do you want to see the fear of man rear its head? Start talking to people about evangelism. In our culture it is often labeled by other names; peer pressure, people-pleasing, codependency, pride, introversion, self-pity, etc. Edward T. Welch writes in When People Are Big and God is Small that we all have a fear of man and explains that freedom from it has three parts: a biblically informed knowledge of God, other people, and ourselves. He breaks down these three into steps that help reveal the sinful fear of others in our lives and replace it with a godly fear.
Rightfully, Edward Welch begins and spends much of the book describing the amazing attributes of God explaining, "The most radical treatment for the fear of man is the fear of the Lord" (pg. 19). God is a lot bigger than we can even begin to imagine. "Scripture speaks of unimaginable love alongside holy anger. God is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love, but he also does not leave the guilty unpunished" (pg. 103) We need to understand all sides of God's holiness; His grace, love, and mercy, balanced with justice, anger, and wrath. God is awesome, powerful, beautiful and His handiwork is displayed everywhere. Many of today's sermons in America feed into self-centered thinking by providing self-help sermons. "The result [of too many application sermons] is that our goal can be self-improvement rather than the glory of the Holy God. We need more sermons that leave us trembling." (pg. 96) "A growing knowledge of God displaces the fear of people, and it casts out our tendency to be casual with our secret sins." (pg. 107)
Another step in overcoming the fear of man is having a biblical understanding of ourselves and others. It is important for us to realize how sinful we are and that our dependency is on God not on others. Welch says we ascribe too often God's attributes to other people, "People are our favorite idol. We exalt them and their perceived power above God. We worship them as ones who have God-like exposing gazes or God-like ability to "fill" us with esteem, love, admiration, acceptance, respect, and other psychological desires" (pg. 45). He states that too often we worry that other people will think we are fanatics, that we are stupid, or that they won't respond to us the way we want (fear of people), instead of being more concerned about our own sin and obeying God (fear of God). We then begin to make excuses for our fear of man, calling our sins "shortcomings," saying we are only human, or appealing to the majority for decisions. Instead of living godly we give in because we fear others. In reference to this, Edward Welch makes this convicting statement, "Sometimes we would prefer to die for Jesus than to live for Him." (pg. 39) He declares that "what we fear shows our allegiances. It shows where we put our trust. It shows who is big in our lives." (pg. 47)
When People Are Big and God is Small is a great book that dives into the excuses we make for the fear of man and the remedies for them. The heart of the book is the gospel message, which Welch digs deep into and reveals a better understanding of the gospel than a basic 'Romans Road' presentation describes. He says, "The good news of Jesus is not intended to make us feel good about ourselves. Instead, the good news humbles us" (pg. 146). Throughout the book we find out that we are more sinful than "all fall short" leads us to believe. We take every second of blessing from God and lace it with sin (boasting, self-pity, lies, fear, worry, lust, coveting, etc.). We are idol factories, exaggerating the power of people over us and ascribing them the ability to fulfill our desires. We "stretch the truth" to make ourselves more comfortable in a situation and justify it by saying we are only human or others just don't understand the situation. We create a perceived need in our eyes (more accurately a lust), and make justifications for desiring something God hasn't granted us. When discussing the holiness of God, the sinfulness of man, and the good news of Christ's death and resurrections the author states, "When the fear of the Lord matures in you, Christ becomes irresistible" (pg. 123).
In the book, Welch gets right to the root of these issues, lays out God's wonderful news of His love and transforming power, and offers practical advice on steadily overcoming the fear of others. "THE problem is clear: People are too big in our lives and God is too small. The answer is straightforward: We must learn to know that our God is more loving and more powerful than we ever imagined." (pg. 113)